This is a special day (sort of) for me. For the first time, I've let a woman that I have interest in know my personal take on something that's going on between us. Now I may very well be making a mountain out of a mole hill, and this may result in losing any chance for a relationship with her, but that's a chance I decided to take.
I haven't heard from her for two days and could never get through to her. Today, I stopped by to leave an envelope of considerable value on her door. I heard her inside so I delivered it personally. the tiny fortune inside was accompanied by a letter. When I saw her, I thought it best to let the letter do the talking since her apparent fake smile disappointed me more.
I'm sure she'll read the letter. She may not call me back. She might not even care about anything in there. However, she'll know where I'm coming from. the way I see it, I'll either be wrong about her and loose her, or I'll be right about her and close that chapter of my life. I can live with those chances. Otherwise, I'd ignore my gut on the gamble that she is in fact doing right and being honest. But then I run the risk of having it backfire as she uses me as a door mat, and that's a pain I can't endure at this stage in my life.
I may give you an update later on. Ya'll have a good day. 'Til next time.
Update - 3/10/08; 2023hrs
Well, the letter that I delivered may not have even been read. She does answer the phone now, though it's probably only because I showed up at her front door that Friday morning. Though she talks to me now, she keeps telling me she wants to meet with me and tell me what's going on. We make plans to meet, then she either cancels or she simply doesn't call back.
Now, here's the deal: the way I figure it, she is planning all this. Someone else has entered the picture - most likely an ex-boyfriend - and she's decided to get back with him. Perhaps he's a tiger in bed. I know I ain't. HAH! But enough jokes.
So like I was sayin', she apparently tried to avoid me all together, hopping that it would all work itself out without actually facing me. I blew that out of the water when I showed up at her front door. Now, I know that that may seem like I'm stalking her, but I really only stopped by to leave an envelope (my letter and tiny fortune) on her door. It just so happened that she was at home.
Now, I guess she just wants me to give up hope and - A: walk away, leaving her with her new man or whatever, or B: Do the work for her and tell her that I don't need to talk to her and declare that we can just be friends.
I really haven't the slightest idea what the hell is goin' on. Hell, she could be pregnant, a dike, a transvestite (yech!), or even an alien for all I know. Who the hell cares! just talk to me and act like an adult. I haven't been in high school for 16 yrs. Wow, 16 yrs...
Any how, I have no problems being friends with her. Considering what's going on in her life, she needs a good one right about now. And even though I really like her, she's displaying far too many similarities to my ex-wife for me to ever pursue anything more than friendship. I'd love to tell her that, but I wanna do it face to face...
Wouldn't you know it? Just before concluding this blog, she calls and explains to me the cold-shoulder. It turns out that she doesn't like people popping in un-announced. Considering that most people HATE that, it's perfectly understandable. However, I can't say that I'm entirely convinced. I've dealt with this kind of reaction from women before, and it always meant someone else entered the picture. Then again, I do still have scar tissue from those previous relationships that are still quite tender. Perhaps, I'm being way too suspicious.
Regardless, she and her kids were suppose to accompany me and my kids to Disneyland. Now, because of my Royal [CENSORED]-Up (or so she says) She won't be going. Just great!
By the by, I'm not sayin' that her reason behind all of this is not the truth, it may very well be. I'm just saying that my past can certainly influence my thoughts.
Any Who, 'til next time.
