Still using that filtered lense.

The above movie is just what I was talking about.

Okay, not a movie. It's a video clip. Satisfied?
Now, what we have here is a college student who obviously has a point to make. I must say, he has some very good points to make. Whether they are improperly educated points I can't say. But I have to say, he is definitely convincing.
He starts off by "informing the people" as he puts it. And again, regardless of its validity, they are still quite thought provoking arguments. He certainly has the right to speak his mind in an orderly fashion. However, that's where the problem comes in? He started off very well, but quickly became disorderly as he tried to inform the people. When he finally gets to the questions, he abandons all order in an attempt to make his point. It became evident that he had no intention to allow the 2004 Presidential Hopeful to answer his questions.
As is the nature of law enforcement - regardless of what popular opinion says - the police move in to escort the young man out of the building to RESTORE ORDER. NOT "SILENCE THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE." After all, we do expect that much of them. Besides, the people came to hear Kerry speak, not to hear the young man rant and rave at the man.
At this point, the young and passionate college student has made his point. He can still peacefully exit the building with some real credit and save face at the same time. He runs his mouth defiantly as he walks with the police officers with little struggle. He then switches gears and forcefully breaks loose and makes a very low level attempt to evade. At least, that's what it looked like. The cops catch him and forcefully carries him toward the entrance. The camera does a lot of shaking before the picture finally rests on the young man being held down by the police near the entrance. He's yelling "what did I do?" Over and over again. A few moments later, the young man says, "let me up and I'll walk out of here right now." Well, you political martyr you, that's exactly what you should have done from Jump Street. The trust and benefit of the doubt went right out the window when you resisted the escort out. For all they know, you may try something against Kerry. You sounded like you had a pretty big axe to grind. Best not to take chances. Bring in the taser! "Pleas don't tase me bro! Please don't tase me!" Too late. ZAAAAPPP! And here's another for thinking you can appeal to those brave men and women in blue by calling one of them your bro: ZAAAAPPP! (Not Really)
MAKING yourself into a political martyr, or any other type for that mater, does not prove you are passionate about anything. When the young college student used his words, he made proof of it enough. It would have been far more effective if he used a bit more respect and order. As it was, he got tased. And provoking the police to tase you does not prove police brutality. Instead of the young woman telling the police to stop, why didn't she tell the young man to stop resisting.
I am very proud that almost all of the young people have such an intense interest in politics, but when it ends the way this demonstration did, it wipes out everything prior to the police scuffle. People will remember the yells of pain more than the excellent points the young man made.
Please understand, the real world becomes far too real after college. Understand that there are other way to get your point across. More peaceful ways, respectful, and orderly ways to get your point across. Keep in mind the civil rights movements of the past. All the peaceful protests, some that were met by violence from merciless police. The protests made by our illegal citizens, again some of it was met with violence. But none of the violence was ever provoked.

I commend all of you passionate college students for your interest in politics that far surpassed my care for it all when I was in college. But realize that there is a better way. Now I realize that not all college students behave as such. I speak primarily to the attention getters and those that don't see that the attention getters con do any wrong.
My point is that none of this rebellion is necessary when protesting, demonstrating, or simply calling out a man you feel let you and millions of other voters down in the last election. But the point that I strayed from was that we see what we want. People will see this whole incident as the student being tased for asking questions. That's not accurate. He was tased for not leaving peacefully. Now, on the up side, I am very excited to see this up and coming generation eventually run this nation.

Believe it or not, I'm very proud of our college students. They fill me with such hope. 'Til next time.

By the way, I'm well aware that there are corrupt police just as there are corrupt preachers, politicians, and college students.

Viewing life through a filtered lense.

I got to view a video earlier this week that was posted on some fella's personal web page or blog. It was entitled something like "American police abusing power." I watched the video. It starts off with some guy screaming at someone not to touch him. You don't know anything more than that because all you can see is what appears to be a computer desk at some library. The camera begins to move about and people begin to stir, but you still see nothing. Soon, everyone stands and begins to look at what's going on. The camera, however, is still missing the action. Suddenly there is a horrendous scream like the guy is being tortured. A few seconds pass after the "torture" with some heavy breathing followed by the same guy yelling at the top of his lungs something to the effect of "I was going to leave this God Forsaken Place and you tazzed me!" Ah ha, I thought, there are police involved right from the start from the recording. Of course that was nothing more than an educated guess because the camera man is still getting nothing but shots of spectators. The apparent offender continues to declare his intent to leave, but from the soundsof things, he had yet to do so. The police warn that he will be tazzed if he does not stand up. the warning is given a number of times. I talkin' at least five times in a raised, clear voice. The camera man shifts through the crowd and finally gets a shot of a couple of cops standing in the doorway and a couple more hunched over. The command to stand is issued a few more times with a warning that the tazzers will be used. Finally, ZAP! The guy screams his tortured cry, accompanied with flailing about of the body. Now the spectators are starting to demand that the policemen stop. The "offender" demands the badge numbers of the officers. The spectators follow his lead and begin to make the same demand. All the while, the cops still order the offender to stand. At this point, seemingly everyone in the whole building is coming to investigate the situation and the offender is silent. I suppose now that he has EVERYBODY'S FULL ATTENTION, there was no need to declare or demand anything at the top of his lungs. He's carried out of the building by his arms - handcuffed behind his back - and to the squad car. At least I assume so because the camera man never really seemed to get the hang of getting a good shot. The lobby of the building is full of angry spectators, with what I thought was additional police guarding the entrance. You can see people with their phones trying to do what the camera man apparently could not do, probably in defense of the offender. On spectator tried to protest one of the cops standing guard. The cop ordered him to step back or he will get tazzed. The spectator hesitantly obeyed. the video ended soon after that.

I got the impression that apart from the cops, all the spectators there were college students - still quite young. It seems to me that college students are so desperate to take a stand against something that first impressions are all they need to get fired up, formulate opinions, and publish their ideas criticisims on the World Wide Web. I'm basing this off of my own fram of thought back when I attended college. There is nothing new under the sun, just different degrees of the same old mess with ridiculously increased intensity. Of course, that is your fault - we older generation I mean.
Getting back to the subject. My mind set canged whenI got into the real world. I saw the world for what really was and college didn't prepare me for what I saw and experienced. Yet just as I suspect so many other college students of yester-year and the present have, I assumed college life was giving me an accurate trial run of the real world. If I'd seen that video years ago, I would have been fired up too. Today I look at them through the eyes of an adult that has had plenty of play time in real life.
I took notice that the recording takes place sometime after the incodent starts, so you don't know why the cops came for that youg man in the first place. I noticed that the visuals of the video sheds zero light on what was happening. I heard the police give warning time and time again to a man who would not budge. I say that because for some thime there was no movement and the oreders seemed to come from the doorway of the "library." I noticed that once all eyes were on the offender, he had no desire to talk. I noticed that averyone else who received an order from an officer obeyed, though reluctantly.

I don't want to raise my kids to distrust local authority because they don't have a good handle on what real life is. I plan to keep them out of prison. I don't want them to formulate their opinions on popularity, mainstream, or some sort of bleeding-heart fad. I want them to remain reserved until they feel they've received all the information necessary to formulate an inteligent decision. Yet, while I say all of this, I have to remember that we all have prospectives that have been skewed to a certain degree.

I wish I could find that site. If I do I'll add it to this post. 'Til next time.

See? This is what I'm talkin' about.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=5352156&page=1

The above link is to an article I read this morning. Its hard to put into words my opinion about this article. I can say that it proves what I've been saying all this time about the dovorce problem in America.
This article is primarily about women. Women geting into realationships and bailing out in a about two years max. Women who have rushed into marriage - WILLINGLY - only to find they've made a mistake.
Now there are some women who can make good decisions in marriage. Find a man, marry him, love him, and stay that way 'til death do them part. So why can't other women do so? And its not like the men in their lives have absolutely nothing to worry about. NO ONE IS PERFECT, which means that the men in those failed marriages were no oblivious to what was going on around them. They were dealing with imperfect wives just as the same women dealt with imperfect women.
Sure, things are different. Back then (about fifty years ago). A woman divorcing her husband was frowned upon. However, today a woman can go out there and get any job she wants, AND IS STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR HER OWN DECISIONS. If the husband doesn't want his wife to work, she shoud know this before getting married. If she knows this and marries him regardless of her ambitions, she should be prepared for the arguements to follow. I should point out that my ex had a special problem with me. I up and decided I didn't want my wife to work just JUST before we got married. I switched gears on her big time without much warning and I expected her to comform. Bad stuff. Very selfish on my part.
So where is the hope? If we who look at marriage as a sacred union are nothing more than a dying breed, where does that leave us in this world? I feel I've learned my lesson. I feel I've learned to accept the next woman I marry as an individual in our union. Yet, with men and women still thinking only of themselves, I fear I'll never find a good woman.
And you poor women out there who have to encure cheating boyfriends and husbands (though women cheat too) I feel for you. Now, I also think you're pretty stupid too, if you're still with him.
Give the article a read and ask yourself what you think.
'Til next time.

Awww, it wasn't really real.

You may remember the post I made sometime last week about a video I saw concerning Ocular Penetration. After visiting the same forum I was in to find out about the "terrible crime" I learned that The Onion is nothing more than a great big new parody. Thus, Ocular Penetration is not really a threat.
So, I feel like a sucker for believing it. Though it is a very convincing video, and since I didn't know anything about The Onion prior to today's visit to the forum, I don't feel so bad. The good news is, I can finally laugh about it without feeling bad. Good stuff.

If you ever get the chance to see it, you'll marvel at how convincing the video is and appreciate the humor of it as I now do.

'Til next time.

If Only... On Second thought... Never Mind.

Reading my posts kinda makes me wish that those who hurt me would stumble upon them and read to their conviction. Then I think of how many people I hurt in the past and imagine stumbling accross all of their blogs and reading to my guilt driven suicide (not really, just exagerating).

Pompous. That's what that is. Wishing a person's just deserts without considering what you deserve. No, I need to remember why I started this thread.
1 - To showcase my short stories.
2 - To vent and rant (which is what this blog became).
3 - To be an encouragement or help to who ever comes accross this blog.
4 - To help dispell misconceptions about Christians.

'Til next time.

After the Emotional Storm.

Well, the day of the date came and went without a single attempt from the beautiful young lady to contact me. I would say that I was stood-up, but I think you have to actually be at the planned date location and waiting for that to qualify.

With the events pass - or the lack there of that confirms her intentions, regardless of the cause - I find myself with a few prevelant thoughts.
1 - Why does it feel as though I'm the only one who has to consider "the other person?"
Of course, I'm not. It's just good social behavior for all to consider their fellow man. But in today's soociety, self preservation/indulgence takes priority. Christians shouldn't live by this mainstream law, but we've been guilty of it too. Now, if my feelings for this girl had changed and I felt her's didn't, but was steady or growing, I'd feel obligated to tell her how I feel and let her know that I didn't think anything would come of it. After all, put off telling my son's mother about a girl I'd met in AIT and she found out about my marriage to her from a family member of mine. So I never wnat to hurt anyone like that again. This young lady I was interested in figured that the best way to deal with the situation was to disappear and hope it all goes away while she lives her life with her ex-boyfriend. It's her decision who she wants to be with, but even friends are more open to each other than that.
2 - It's not really like I have anything to offer, anyway.
I'm a single father of four great kids whom I can barely afford to provide for. I have no savings and I can hardly pay my bills on time (though I do, thank you God). Having a woman in my life would do nothing but drag her down. It's cool. I can accept that. Not that I've given up. I'm constantly looking for oppertunities to better myself (through school, preferably). Still, what woman wants a boat anchor.
3 - Why am I constantly attracted to that type of women?
My preference seems to be short, dark, with a nice backside. I don't casually date women. I'm too old and have been married too be satisfied with shallow relationships. If I date her, it's because I see my potential wife in her. This would have been my first official date ever; to give you an idea of how cautious I am. Yet, somehow, I'm attracted to less than reputable women - for lack of better words. My ex-wife has extreemely promiscuous before our marriage. During my un-official first date with the young lady, she discloses to me her promiscuity as well. Granted, it's her life and the past shouldn't matter. However, I found myself feeling the same insecurities with her as I did with my ex. How in the world can I hope to physically satisfy a "well versed" woman physically being just one man with an average sized wang? My ex cheated on me constantly. Then again, that's a personal issue. After all, that's her past and really doesn't affect my attraction toward or decision for a woman. It's just a personal insecurity.
4 - I'm I even mentally prepared for a relationship?
It's obvious I haven't left the past behind me as I previously thought. The way my ex divorced me cut so deep that I thought I'd never recover. I did, but there is a lot of scar tissue that I've covered up. And lets not forget thought number two.

It's her coice who she wants to be with. If she chooses to restore the status of her ex-boyfriend to boyfriend, that's certainly within her right. I honestly don't know what kept her from calling me or caused her to miss our date, though my mind has obviously formulated it own reasons and conclussions. I just know that common courtesy would have motivated me to pick up the phone.

Perhaps I've done or said something. Even still...

'Til next time.

Sometimes, I hate being right.

I love blogging. Amongst all the different things you can accomplish through this media, it is also an excellent way to vent.

A few days ago, I posted a blog about letting go of the past for the sake of a future relationship. I stated that my suspicions were quite likely to be completely wrong. Perhaps, they were dead on. Close to it anyway.
Two weeks ago, I went on an unofficial date with a young lady. I say unofficialy because I really didn't tell her it was a date, but I revealed to her my intentions to her at the end. We agreed it was a good time to be had bu all. She called me every night after that for five days. During one of those calls, she initiates another daye and makes sure it's known that she intended it to be a daye. after tje fifth night, I didn't hear from her. she didn't retyrn my calls. And when I saw her at church the following Sunday night, dhe looked as though she didn't want to look me in the eyes. Agter the service, she came to talk to me. It felt a lot like she did it out ofobligation (because I saw her). I asked if we were still on for our "date" and she said yes. I haven't heard word one from her since.
Tonight was suposed to be our date night. I have yet to hear word one from her.
To be honest, my suspicion was that she had gotten back together with her ex-boyfriend whom she refered to as "numb nuts" on account that he'd made some bone-headed moves that affected her directly.
This hurts not because she picked him over me. It's her life. She can so what she wants as she sees fit. No, it hurts because rather than being an adult about it and telling me whats going on, she'd rather cut off communication and perhaps pray that it all goes away. I may still be wrong. However, her behavior fits the profile that has been formed in my mind through years of living with a lying wife.

Half of my mind says "[PROFANITY DELETED] it! Being a nice guy doesn't pay off for [PROFANITY DELETED]! Women aren't worth respecting anymore. If I meet a good lookin' chick and she diggs me, I'm gonna [PROFANITY DELETED] her." Now the other half of my mind says "It will be just my luck to catch full blown AIDS from the first woman I have sex with. I'm better off doin' it God's way.

She said all sorts of things that felt good to hear a woman say about me. I really enjoyed my time with her and she said the same about me. She has a wonderful personality to match her beautiful smile and is very level headed and future minded as well as inteligent. I'm a butt man and her body delivered. She has a good sized chest to boot. spending that time with her and talking to her about the Bible and everything else made me feel like I was finally returning to normal. I felt like I'd found a good canidate to grow old with. I just don't get how people can be so selfish. Then I remember a time when I was in AIT (ask your military friends what that is) and I was determined to call my sons mother and tell her I'd met someone new. In that very conversation, she told me her mother was in the hospital, dying of breast cancer. She only had a couple of days to live. Through tears that flowed like a river, she beged me to tell me if there was someone else in my life now, because now would be the time she'd want to hear it. I hadn't the heart to tell her. As time went on, I put off telling her until one day she found out through my aunt that I was married.
Just deserts, perhaps. Thinking of it that way, as though this is my punishment, its a little easier to take. Then her lack of consideration would be more of an act of God, rather than her own doing.

Thanks for letting me vent. Because my mind is in such a state, I really don't care to spell check this post. Maybe I'll come back another time to do that. 'Til next time.

PS: None of my suspicions are proven and I could be very wrong. But I don't think so.

Hmm... Abnormal

I was perusing a forum that I am a member of just now when I came accorss a link for an article on "the onion" web site. I clicked it out of curiosity. What I was filled me with mixed feelings.
Rep. Benjamin Sinclair was introducing the Ocular Penetration Bill. I spent half of the video trying to determine if it was for real. Around the time I realized it was I herad the man state how it would reduce the crime in three "fundamental ways."
1 - Mandatory five year prison scentance for violators.
2 - Increased police activity in high "ocular penetration areas."
3 - Community orieinted faith based programs to stop our children form "ocular penetration" before they get started.

Indeed, this is a problem. But it's a probem that I feel is best combated by parents who are actively involved in their kid[s]' lives. Unfortunately, faith based programs will only work if the parents accept Christ for them selves in the process (provided that the parent[s] aren't already saved) and begin to pray for their children. Community programs - faith based or otherwise - simply are not substitutions for parental responsibility in proper upbringing. Nevermind religion. Teach them what's right and wrong and insist - as their parent[s] - that as long as they can be legaly claimed on taxes, that the right thing will be expected of them. And the Bible does say "spare the rod spoil the child." It also warns not to be alarmed by their screams of bloody murder (their reaction to being spanked). Wanna know where it reads in Bible? Read it yourself. "Oh, he just doesn't know where it is in the Bible." Yeah, whatever. Get a Bible, read it and find out for yourself. But. I digress.
Now, I should admit that while I listened to Rep. Sinclair, I couldn't help but laugh a bit through out the video. Why? Because this gray-haired man kept refering to the crime by it "less formal" name.
Replace the word "ocular" with "skull" and "penetration" with the f word plus "ing." You get "skull ____ing." To hear him say it over and over again was kinda funny. To hear him refer to the violators as "skull ____ers" was even worse.
Back on a serious note. I believe that all crime would be drasticly recuced if we as parents made more of an effort to monitor our children and remain active in their lives.
Finally, an intresting side note to the same topic. There was a sargeant in my platoon when I was in the Army that had to do a paper for a college class he was taking. He decided to do it on crime in America and how it prigressed through the years (something like that). This man, who was not saved, shared with me a very interesting statistic. In his research he found that crime in America made a signigicant increase the same year the courts took prayer out of school.

'Til next time.

I'm sitting at my computer on a lovely Sunday morning, and checking our Yahoo! News. It's something I do every Sunday before church. This was the article that caught my eye:

Conn. home 20-times larger than average

It sounds interesting, so I read a little of the article. Here are some highlights.

WEST HARTFORD, Conn. - The enormity of the house Arnold Chase is building on Avon Mountain isn't fully apparent from the outside, where only 17,000 square feet of it lies in plain view.
It's the two-level, 33,500-square-foot basement complex, complete with a 103-seat movie theater, ticket booth, concession stand, game room and music annex, that will make it New England's largest occupied single-family home.
At nearly 50,900 square feet, the Chase home will be slightly larger than billionaire Bill Gates' home in Washington, about 4,000 square feet smaller than the White House and 20 times larger than the average-size home in America.

The home builders association's vice president for research defends the home (as though he really needed to):

"It's the same thing as why people buy a $150,000 car when the same function can be performed by a $25,000 car," Ahluwalia said. "I can afford it. I can have it. I want to have the biggest house in the world. Things like that."

Very good point (not that it matters how much his car cost him). If you have the money, why not? What buisness is it of anyone else what you do with it. Now here is the part that really made me say, "wha...?"

"Do you actually need to have that amount of space to live a good life?" said Susan A. Eisenhandler, a sociology professor at the University of Connecticut. "There are homeless people. There are impoverished people. There are serious social concerns, and we're not addressing that."

I'm sorry, but it sounds as though you actually believe that the house points to a lack of concern for the fellow man, Mrs. Eisenhandler. Who said anything about needing a home that big? And exactly how does having a home that big have anything to do with "social concerns?" I don't know that Mr. Chase does anything to help out with social problems, but the house doesn't mean he can't or won't. That's like saying you can't be rich and serve God.
Now I'm not saying that Susan Eisenhandler is guilty of this, but it seems to me that the people who criticizes the spending habits of others are those who can't afford the same type of lifestyle. Again, Susan's comment is probably quite sincere and fueled by true concern for her fellow man. Still, apples have absolutely nothing to do with oranges.

I've been in a very bloggy mood lately, you may get another today. 'Til next time.

Lazy Day

Oh yes, lazy day indeed.

It's the second day into the four day weekend and I'm having a ball doing nothing.

Not really nothing. You see, as a single father of four, I really don't get time to myself. I work all day and come home and hit the ground running. I cook diner and make certain that the kids do theid homework. I check it and monitor their free time until their bed time. Then I relax for a couple of hours doing nothing. I love gamming, but don't really have the free time to do so.
Saturdays begin with a prayer meeting at church followed by a couple of hours pounding the pavement as we go door to door inviting people to a Christian church service. Please, don't confuse us with Jehova's Witnesses. I have a few hours after that to relax and feed the kids before we go to evening service. Today, however, was diferent.
Today, there was a fellowship meeting in Azusa, CA that I could not attend due to finances. I stayed home. During fellowship meetings the regular Saturday sceduel is cancelled. I had the whole day to myself. I played pc games, lounged around, took a nap, took a shower, made the kids lunch, played more pc games, watched One Piece on Toonami's Jetstream, and played more pc games. I plan to play CounterSrike: Source later on today, though I suck so hard at it. Tonight, I'll probably read an Anne Rice novel over coffee. What a day. I don't even mind not being able to talk to my female hopeful for almost three days. Maybe I'll take the kids to the pool for a little night swimming.

My opinion: lazy days are a God-send for the single parent.

Oh yeah:
September 4th: Happy Birthday Felicia; Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad
September 5th: Happy Birthday CL (though I haven't heard from ya, you're still my brother)

'Til next time.

The Dating Game: Putting the past behind me (yeah, right)

One with a past of severe hurt should make sure that the past hurt is insignificant enough not to influence his or her thoughts in a potentially new relationship.

I came to this realization recently. I'm quite interested in a young lady at my church. We've been on one date already and she has asked me on another this upcoming weekend. Every night since then, she's called me. I wanted to do the same, but I was afraid of chasing her away.
It's been three days and I haven't heard from her. She hasn't even returned my calls. My mind has created a heart wrenching picture of her doning "things" with her ex-boyfriend. Now that is within the realm of possibility, but it's also quite possible that she is busy preparing for a big move which I'm fully aware of. I believe the ladder is the true picture, and not that she's having her cake and eating it too.

Please, take my paranoia as a type of warning. At best, my imagination will cause me sleepless nights for nothing. Shes a good girl and doesn't deserve being compared to my ex-wife who hurt me plenty.
This has forced me to ask myself whether I'm ready for a realtionship. I certainly want one with her, but will it last if I'm alowing my imagination run wild? I've waited for years waiting for the right girl to come around and ask on a date. I find her and I'm paranoid because I haven't heard from her during a very busy weekend that marks a big change in her life.

If there are any christians out there reading this, please pray for me. 'Til next time.