Film Critic #1

I like the Final Fantasy franchise. And to be quite honest, I love it. I was first introduced to Final Fantasy on the Gameboy. You know, the clunky "handheld" with the monochrome lcd display that you could really only use in a well lit room or a bright sunny day. I never beat it. Then I saw someone playing Final Fantasy 7 while in the military. Because it wasn't an action or fighting game I was never interested. After seperating from the military, I noticed on the software shelf at Wal-Mart (affectionately called Wally World by some southerners) Final Fantasy 8 for the PC. The packaging caught my eye and the characters on the cover intrigued me. Sitting right next to it was Final Fantasy 7 for the PC. My then wife - having played the very game during her time in the military - snatched it up. We couldn't really afford either game, much less two, with three kids. But we didn't care. I thought FF8 was as good as it got and never having played FF7 I thought it paled in comparison. Two years later, my wife buys me a PS One. We buy FF7 and 8. I thought I'd give FF7 a sporting try and was instantly hooked. I never found the Knights Of The Round Summon (nor successfuly breeded a black Chocobo to find it), never beat neither Emerald or Ruby Weapon, never bothered obtaining ultimate weapons and limit breaks for anyone other than Cloud, Tifa, and Barret, and never mastered more than two types of elemental spells. But I did beat the game as I did with FF8 and 9.
About two years ago I heard that FF7 was coming to DVD. I nearly peed my pants. Sure, the other FF7 spin-offs was exciting news too, but this held a great deal of promise to me. But woe to the FF7 fan eager to see life continue after the great Sephiroth battle. Release dates were constantly pushed back. One day, I found that not only was it finally coming out, but that it was just a week away. I reserved my copy and waited impatiently.
The day finally came. On my lunch break I picked up my copy. That night I waited until my four kids were snug safely in bed. I ripped open the box and found myself wishing I could share the movie with my ex. I inserted the disk into my XBox, made a pot of coffee, and settled down to watch the show. However, at the end I felt somewhat empty. As though my expectations were never really met. I watched the movie two more times with my kids and tried to give it as much as a chance in my mind. Now I'm ready to talk about it.
But before I go on, I would like to make this disclaimer: I do prefess to be Christian. Just because I like The FF franchise doesn't mean I'm into magic. I appreciate the game play, the creativity that went into making the game, all aspects of the visuals, and the story. I don't have to be a pegan worshiper to enjoy the games (they're really the only ones I like any way).

The Good
All the characters looked axactly as I felt they should have. The physical renditions were perfect in my opinion. Oh, and I'd like to say that this is all MY OPINION. I'm not delusioned in thinking that my opinions a highly esteemed.
The General plot was was solid. It was obvious where things were headed and the progression of the movie held fast to the direction.
The battle sequences rocked! Every last one of them. And Loz's ringtone after his fight with Tifa was clever. When Cloud was fighting Bahumut, my youngest son Alex said, "oh yeah! That's the juicebox baby!" Don't ask me where a six year old learns something like that.
Character personalities were pretty accurate.
Sephiroth and the Final Battle was just oh-so-perfect. I almost giggled like a little school girl when Sephiroth made his gradn entrance.
Midgar looked deliciously run down. Like a city rapidly rebuilding after a devastating attack nearly wiped it out.
Clouds swords looke awesome. Very nice design.

The Bad
The voice acting was down right disturbing at times. And when certain characters spoke, it became evident that the acting was gonna bite. Rude, the Remnants(almost every time), and Cait Sith probably could have been recast. Aeris just didn't seem convincing. I always imagined her voice being upbeat and encouraging. I felt they missed the boat.
Though Sephiroth's time on stage was pretty awesome, it was terribly short. It was like: BAM! Sephiroth! Fight fight fight things are said fight fight fight BAM! Cloud's victorious.

The Ugly (actually, it's nothing more than nit-picking)
Loz went looking for mother and took Marlene. Why? Was she bait? If so what were the other kids there for? They had the stigma, but so did Rufus, so apparently adults did also. Why were those kids surrounding the Shin-Ra monument? They didn't seem to be needed. The devil hounds dispersed the crowd pretty effectively.
Barrett seemed borderline useless. Every one else was jumping two and three stories into the air and assulting Bahumut head on, narrowly avoiding harm. Vincent, Red XIII (I'm not counting Cait Sith because he was indeed useless), Cid and Cloud actually jumped on the beast. Barrett was left to clean up the demon dog infestation and would have died doing that too if not for Cloud. And every time his arm gun jammed he became worried. Not to mention that it only jammed when Bahumut was coming straight for him. He could have turned it back into a fist, jumped at the dude, and gave him a haymaker to the snout. It would have been just as effective as anyone else's attempts save for Cloud's. Tifa couldn't do much, but in her defense, all she had were leather gloves.
Nowhere near enough Tseng and Elena appearances.
I thought Rude and Reno died in the explosion. It almost knocked Cloud off of his bike and he had to be more than a couple of miles away. Yazoo and Loz were slowly dying. Reno and Rude are standing beside Tseng and Elena without a scratch as they watch the stigma disapear from their boss' hand. The same boss stood from his wheel chair and jumped from a building by the way.
Loz looked like a good manly character. A needed offset to his brothers' efeminate appearance. Yet, Loz was the child of the group. That urked me. Did I spell that right? Urked? Oh well...
Finally, the extras weren't even worth putting on a seperate DVD. Remembering FF7 was nostalgic. Was al that about Zack in the game as well? I wonder... Anyway it was the only extra worth taking the time to watch.
I assume the gray dog was Red XIII's father, Seto. My question is: What in the mighty Shin-Ra was he doing. He sniffed at Clouds old Buster Sword which Cloud obviously left as a monument (nice touch by the way). He was lookin' at Cloud and Tifa as they lay helpless in the bed of flowers, and he sniffed at Cloud just before being revived at the end.

This movie is okay for the person who has to have everything dealing with FF7. All in all it's not half bad. But I really don't believe anyone would be missing out if they decided to pass. You really wouldn't gain anything by owning the movie nor would you loose by passing on it.

And there you have it. A movie critic that took me a couple of weeks to formulate an opinion and a couple of hours to type. It's a heart felt opinion filled with spelling errors that I don't see myself fixing. It's late, so I'll cut this short (not that it could get any longer). 'Til next time.